The SHAMY Framework
So, there’s this episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon and Amy (aka “Shamy”) decide to plan their wedding scientifically. They break the planning into key decisions and randomly assign each of them half. What they end up with? A potential wedding that includes vows in Klingon, toasts in Latin, and asbestos centerpieces — a wedding that neither of them actually wants.
Don’t let this happen to your honeymoon planning. Imagine one partner books the hotel while the other books the flights. The flight-booking partner finds a cheap red-eye, and the hotel-booking partner falls in love with a charming agri-tourism farm, a mere three hours outside the city. Each choice makes sense in isolation (as do Klingon vows, if that’s your thing), but combined they set you up for a first day that no one is looking forward to.
The good news? Planning a honeymoon doesn’t require debating every tiny detail. You just need to align on the big picture. That’s why I created what I call the SHAMY framework. Planning travel as a couple is a team sport; not everyone has to do every single thing, but you do both need to agree on the end goals so your plays go in the right direction.
S – Start together. Dream over dinner and share what your ideal honeymoon looks like. Crazy ideas welcome. Write down 3–5 must-haves and 3–5 deal-breakers, then find common ground to focus on.
H – Have the important conversations. Budgets, both in time and money, are real. Agree on how much time off and spend you’re comfortable with. Think outside the box here. Could you do an immediate mini-moon followed by a bigger trip on your first anniversary? Or will you go all-in on a maxi-moon now, knowing you’ll have less PTO for the rest of the year?
A – Agree it’s a two-yes, one-no situation. If one of you absolutely does not want to go spelunking, it’s a no-go. Even if it’s on the other person’s must-have list. The point is to choose things that connect you, not divide you. Save the solo spelunking trip for later.
M – Make your compass points. Define your top goals: rest, adventure, food, music, culture? Choose 2–3 and use them as filters for decisions. Italian opera might sound glamorous, but if your shared goals are relaxing and eating pasta, it’s okay to skip it.
One of my favorite compass points for honeymoons is ease. If one of you panics during short layovers or the other can’t travel without 10 pairs of shoes, build your plans around that. The last thing you want is snapping at each other in the airport (even though you technically have 30 minutes and could grab a coffee) or fighting over forgotten footwear. Plan for ease, and you prevent arguments before they start.
Y – You are in this together. When something goes wrong (because it will) it isn’t you versus your partner. It’s the two of you versus the problem. Keep that in mind as you haul a suitcase with (now) 11 pairs of shoes across the tarmac.
Your honeymoon doesn’t need to feel like deciphering Klingon. It just needs to reflect the two of you. When you start aligned on the big picture, every choice feels lighter, easier, and more joyful. That’s the real secret: the best honeymoons aren’t stress-free because nothing goes wrong. They’re stress-free because you planned them together.
If you’d love a guide to help you turn your honeymoon vision into reality; stress-free, intentional, and completely yours, that’s exactly what I do. Let’s make your first adventure together unforgettable.